1- Truth: You insist that you are ”right” and the other person is ”wrong.”

2- Blame- You say that the problem is the other person’s fault.

3-Martyrdom: You claim that you are an innocent victim.

4-Put-down: You imply that the other person is a loser because he or she ” always” or ” never” does certain things.

5- Hopelessness- You give up and insist there is no point in trying.

6- Demandingness: You say you are entitleds to better treatment but you refuse to ask for what you want in a direct straightforward way.

7- Denial- You insist that you don’t feel angry, hurt, or sad when you really do.

8- Passive aggression – You pout or withdraw or say nothing you may storm out of the room or slam doors.

9- Self-blame – Instead of dealing with the problem you act as if you are an awful terrible person.

10- Helping: Instead of hearing how depressed , hurt, or angry the other person feels , you try to ”solve the problem” or ”help” him or her.

11- Sarcasm- Your words or tone of voice convey tension or hostility which you aren’t openly acknowledging .

12- Scapegoating- You suggest that the other person has a problem and that you are sane , happy and uninvolved in the conflict.

13- Defensiveness- You refuse to admit any wrong doing or imperfection .

14- Counterattack – Instead acknowledging how the other person feels, you respond to their critcism by critciizing them.

15- Diversion- Instead of dealing with how you both feel in the here-and-now, you list grievance about past injustices.


MY HEART NOT MY EYES It is a romantic comedy play book by Dr. Fawzy Masaoud eBook is £4 and you will get the eBook copy on your mail