1- Conflict phobia:- You are afraid of angry feelings or conflicts with people. You may believe that people with good relationships shouldn’t fight or argue. You may also believe that the people you care about would be hurt and coudn’t take it if you told them how you felt or what was really on your mind .
2- Emotional perfectionesm:- You believe that you shouldn’t have irrational feelings like anger , jealousy, depression, or anxiety. You think you should always be rational and in control of your emotions. You are afraid of being exposed as weak and vulnerable. You believe that people will look down on you if they find out how you really feel.
3- Fear of disapproval and rejection: You are so terrified by rejection and ending up alone that you’d rather swallow your feelings and put up with some abuse than take the chance of making anyone mad at you. You feel an excessive need to please people and to meet everybody’s expectations. You are afraid that people would not like you if you expressed your own ideas and feelings.
4- Passive-aggressiveness:- You pout and hold your hurt and angry feelings inside instead of sharing them openly and honestly. You give others the silent treatment and try to make them feel guilty instead of sharing your feelings.
5- Hopelessness:- You feel convinced that your relationship cannot improve no matter what you do, so you give up. You may feel that you’ve already tried everything and nothing works. You may believe that your spouse is just too stubborn and insensitive to be able to change . This acts as a self-fulfiling prophecy. Once you give up , things get stuck and you conclude that things really are hopeless.
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