- TRUTH: You believe that you are right and the other person is wrong. You are preoccupied with proving your point instead of expressing your angry feelings more directly or trying to grasp how the other person is thinking and feeling.
- BLAME: You believe that the problem is the other person’s fault. You feel overwhelmingly convicted that you’re completely innocent and tell yourself that you have every right to blame him or her.
- NEED TO BE A VICTIM : You feel sorry for yourself and think that other people are treating you unfairly because of their insensitivity and selfishness. Your stubborn unwillingness to do anything assertive to make the situation better gives people the impression that you like the role of a martyr .
- SELF_DECEPTION : You cannot imagine that you contribute to a problem because you cannot see the impact of your behaviour on others. For example, you may complain that your wife nags you, but you don’t think about the fact that you repeatedly ”forget” to follow through on your promise to repair the fence . You may complain that your husband is dogmatic and stubborn and unwilling to listen to your ideas, but you don’t notice that you constantly contradict everything he tries to say.
- DEFENSIVENESS: You are so fearful of criticism that you can’t stand to hear anything negative or disagreeable . Instead of listening and trying to find some truth in the other person’s point view, you have the urge to argue and defend yourself.
I WILL COMPLETE THE ARTICLE IN THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE.
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