I wrote in the previous article what Dr.Burns said . The following article will cover what he said about [ HOW BLAME AND MISTRUST KEEP YOU STUCK (1)].
Dr. Burns says,” She is terribly afraid of talking about a conflict openly , in much the same way that some people are terrified of elevators. She believes that if she opens up, something awful will happen.
Reality often reinforces these fears. When people try to work through a problem, it usually is stressful at first. For one thing , Laura may have always felt ashamed of her sexual impulses. Talking about her feelings may make her feel embarrassed , vulnerable, and unfeminine . In addition , she may not express herself well at first, and Dave might feel hurt or he could get defensive. This might make her all the more convinced that expressing her feelings just won’t work. She might conclude it isn’t worth all the grief and pain it causes.
Since Laura is extremely angry at Dave for not loving her as she wants to be loved , there may be another motivation for storming out of the room instead of staying to work on the problem. Laura may feel so angry with him that she prefers to punish him and sabotage the therapy.
I am always amazed when I see people choosing the road to revenge over the path to intimacy . It seems that there is something seductive and appealing about our hostility , and it can be very difficult to let go of it . It can be hard to admit that we’re choosing to hang on to our anger instead of resolving the problem. There is something strangely comforting about blaming another person and imagining that they are the sole cause of our unhappiness . Let’s face it, revenge fantasies are enormously appealing . And if we have to choose between what seems like the outside chance of being loved and the virtual certainty of perpetuating the war, it can be awfully hard to resist the temptation of inflicting further pain.”
So, if anyone he/she suffers from any mental health disorder , he/she must not be shy of talking about his/her disorder with the psychotherapist or psychologist to find the best therapy quickly and live his/her life in real happiness.
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