The desore to get back at others can prevent you from opening up and getting closer to them. Many people have the opposite problem-they are afraid of anger and conflict. They think they should be nice all the time and never have any negative feelings. I call this a ” conflict phobia.” People with this attitude will go to great lengths to avoid talking openly about disagreements or hurt feelings.

Many of us were raised with the belief that negative emotions like anger are bad . This attitude can make it hard for you to express your feelings. You may be afraid to say,” I feel angry right now” or ” I feel lonely,” because you think you shouldn’t feel this way . This attitude may also make it hard for you to listen. If someone you respect is angry with you, you don’t want to hear it because you feel you have failed or that your relationship is less than what it should be .

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