One thing we find important to reduce rumination
is to be concrete and specific. Rumination has a tendency to involve abstract thinking about the meanings and implications of what has happened , including asking ‘Why me?’ This abstract thinking tends to move away from the specifics of an particular situation , leading to over generalizing : all situations get tarred with the same brush.
For example, a
thought may have started because you overheard your name
in a conversation and thought that people were talking about you. Pretty soon your thoughts may turn to many more negative ideas: what these people must have said, negative things people have said about you before, all the people who don’t like you , all things you don’t like about yourself.
Sadie would start to think ‘Why me? If she felt that she was being passed over in favour of someone else.
It can be hard to stop this flow of negative thoughts once it has started , but getting specific and concrete is an important step, because it help to ground you in the detail of the here – and – now. This helps to keep difficulties in perspective , improves problem-solving and moves you towards actions.
To do this , you have to focus on the specific details of what is going on now – to notice the circumstances and what led up the situation.
Let’s try a quick experiment to compare the effects
of two different ways of responding to the same situation.
1- As vividly as you can, imagine that you are in a hurry to get to an important meeting .
Make the meeting important for whatever reason works best for you, whether it is professional , family – related , or romantic. Imagine getting into your cart and turning the key in the ignition . … but the car does not start ! Imagine this situation as vividly as you can , as if you are there right now . Notice how you feel and what thoughts you have as this happens . Continue to imagine this situation , and ask yourself the following questions:
- Why did this happen?
- What will the others think of me ?
- What does this mean about me?
- What will the implications of this me ?
- WHY did this happen to me today?
- Why me?
- Why does this keep happening to me ?
- *** Notice what you are experiencing after spending a few minutes imagining this event whilst asking these questions . Briefly note down your thoughts , feelings and other experiences.
- I will complete in article 3 soon.
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