Learn to catch yourself being self – critical
What alerts you to the fact that you are being self-critical? Thought patterns (Such as making sweeping judgements , comparisons, blaming, ‘Should’)? Mood changes ( a drop of confidence , feeling low)? Body sensations (a sinking feeling , tight shoulders)? Or may be something you do(Breaking eye contact , making yourself small)?
Just because self-criticism is loud and compelling , it does not follow that it tells the truth.
Self-critical NATs are the voice of the Bottom Line speaking in the present moment. For instance, when yourself- critical voice says,’You see? No one likes you! this may be the voice of the Bottome line that developed because your parents were too busy and stressed to pay you attention. Your self-critical NATs may be loud and powerful , but they still represent an old , automatic habit of mind that you no longer need to buy into or take seriously .
We saw how, when you were younger, you may have drawn unhelpful conclusions from things that happened around you because you did not have the ability or knowledge to weigh things up in a more reasoned way. It’s important to remember that these conclusions are not the truth – they were just the best understanding you could reach of things at the time.
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