The quality of your relationship with your partner sets the tone for your day-to-day experience at home. If your relationship is distressed , your home is likely to feel negative, and that can be depressing . If you both feel loved and supported by each other, your overall life experience is likely to be more positive and it will be easier to use your relationship as a resource in combating depression.
Therefore, let’s focus first on some general priciples of what you and your partner can do to improve and enhance the quality of the way things are between you.
The quality of your relationship is influenced by a large number of factors .
First, in order for a relationship to work, it needs to meet many of the important needs that each of you has as individuals.
For example, you might want a lot of emotional closeness and will feel unhappy if you do not experience that with your partner . Or one of you might find it very rewarding to achieve in your profession and feel frustrated if your relationship makes it difficult for you to be professionally successful.
Second, not only does the relationship need to meet both of your individual needs, but also the two of you need to function well as a unit. Have you worked out how you will deal with limited finances , who will take the children to dance lessonsand football pracice?
Can you communicate with each other effectively , sharing your thoughts and feelings about important topics as well as making good decisions together?
Third, you do not live in isolation as a couple , but rather you are integrated into an environment that includes other people , as well as the physical aspects of your surroundings such as your home and neighbourhood . For a relationship to work, you need to decide how you will operate within this broader environment , which includes giving to others and receiving support from them as appropriate , learning to enjoy the positive aspects of your surroundings , and minimizing the negative impact (For example , having noisy or unpleasant neighbours).
In summary, a successful relationship has three main characteristics : it meets the needs of both individuals , the couple function well as a unit, and they relate well to their environment.
The CBT techniques that you have been using depression can also be applied when focusing on the various aspects of a healthy relationship . That is , both of you have thoughts , feelings and behaviours towards each other as individuals , yourselves as a couple , and the environment .
For example, if your partner a strong need to be professionally successful , they might spend a lot of time at work and/or thinking about work – related issues. You might interpret your partner’s long hours at work as meaning that they do not love you and are trying to avoid you, or instead you might believe they want to contribute as much as possible to your family ‘s finances- each belief will have a very different impact . That is, there are important cognitive behavioural and emotional aspects to how you experience your relationship.
There are so many different factors that infuence the quality of your relationship , it might seem overwhelming to think about how to improve it . While we cannot address all factors-whole books have been written on this topic.
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